Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
