god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
