i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
