I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
