remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
