i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
