the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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