absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
