I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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