So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
