It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
