hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
