fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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