Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
