All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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