If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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