dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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