I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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