Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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