those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
