If i come over, it means nothing
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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