I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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