Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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