There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
