i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize