OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
