I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
