Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
