real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
