I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
