I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
