She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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