I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
