she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize