yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
