the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
