Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
