Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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