new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
