it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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