i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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