His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Duck Duck Cougar?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
