what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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