She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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