her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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