Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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