I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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