she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
