her vagine was all disorganized.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
