maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
