I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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