I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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