My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
