Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Every concussion has its silver lining
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
