Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
