i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
