my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize