Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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