I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
