Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize